Road Blocks

There are certain people who have been put in front of you to impede your progress, clog up your process. On the other hand, it can just seem that way, again I’m in the land of perspective. It’s always shifting under my feet, sort of like quicksand, pulling myself into me. What if they aren’t the blockades I thought they were? What if they’re cordoning off the street? And I’m stuck single file in traffic trying to get a peek, trying to break my neck to look ahead, attempting to see.

Shaking my fist in frustration, like the old man protecting myself has turned me into. I’m not completely averse to adventure, it’s just the danger I want to eschew. Overly cautious, not out of fear, I’ve just lived through most of what others will never see. A cautionary tale that I’ve taken to heart as if the story wasn’t written about me. It doesn’t mean I don’t still want to speed recklessly, but now I cut down on the occasions I pick up my keys.

Then I regroup and reinvent some passion. Reinvigorated, I pull myself together and what’s in my path, what am I struggling with passing? Something I want, something I need. A truth I want to define me, but just out of reach. A vision from my youth of who I want, hmm, wanted to be. A lesson to stumble upon and rinse and repeat. A speed trap to capture my thoughts, cultivated to impede.

Then again, it could be what I actually need. My vision can be described as skewed, askew from where it should be. Wandering off the road, my car turning where my eyes lead. The ever illusive woman, my destiny. It just seems I never learn, then again, I’m not stupid. I hold my hand out over the stove just to feel it burn. Some lessons are just lost on me.

The road I thought I was on shifted again and threw me off of my journey. My lechery, riding next to me, buckled safely in its seat. Emboldened by the danger, you see I’m usually at breakneck speeds. So I allow my passenger to speak up, why should I crash being pious? Then I think better of it and the speed bumps appear as blessings to me, they become more desirous.

Or maybe I just don’t want to be alone, sniffles always sound louder in silence. Exaggerated moments magnified when alone, sometimes I look for comfort in the things that put me on this road. So I look to my liveliest companion during my trek, then I start to see the traffic cones change in intent. Then they tear up my suspension and burst my tires if I try to drive over them.

Then I think, maybe I had to crash to jar my selfishness from its roost. Sometimes I pray that was the lesson, that it’s enough to keep my blockages from destroying my world. Hopefully, I've learned to tame my lust for speeding. Despite who I’m proclaimed to be there's nothing I more doggedly pursue. The peace of mind acquired when you can't control me with the scent of you. Then I look out my window and some beautiful distraction is there holding out the keys. Pulling on the doors trying to get inside and secure her seat.

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